Two people with nothing to say are just as lonely as those who are single.

I used to think that when many people choose a lover, they usually consider appearances first, then their financial stability. However, I have a good friend who expressed to me that she wants to find someone she can chat with for hours and hours as a partner.

I asked her, "Why? It’s natural to not feel comfortable chatting with someone you do not know very well. Is it really that important?"

She said: "This is my most important factor when searching for love."

I once had a boyfriend who was a great guy; the only drawback in the relationship was that we exchanged very few words. Our interactions were very close to silent, but he chased me for such a long time that we finally decided to get together. However, the mild problem became worse and worse, and we had less and less interactions. It became clear that the relationship we had built was not on common ground because of our very different interests. I often played on my computer while my boyfriend watched TV in the same room, but it is like we are in separate houses.

Watching television, playing on the computer, and talking separately with each of our friends replaced all of our time together. Even in our most intimate moments, we felt strange together. Our friends noticed this disconnect and were surprised at how important the value of a simple chat was. The more unfamiliar we felt, and the cooler our disposition became, we were no longer able to ignore the situation. We eventually began to reduce our contact with each other and finally separated in the end.

My friend urgently told me that chatting with one’s lover for at least thirty minutes every day is absolutely necessary. If even this cannot be done, then how can you talk about the future with your lover when the time comes? After marriage, this sense of alienation will definitely be heavier. If when you are in love, you have nothing to talk about, then as you progress further into your relationship and hit a snag, you will rarely speak. Therefore, any communication with your partner will always consist of quarrelling and lack of interest in each other.

To those who ask how to save a failing relationship, how to rekindle a bond, I respond, "Do you have any interest in regaining your former interest? Have you ever discussed heatedly about anything?" If there is a lack of communication and common interest from each other from the beginning, then it is easier to diagnose and fix the problem. If you once had passion and interest in each other, it is a bit harder to figure out the reasons for disconnect, but you must, nevertheless, work to restore some of the passion and rekindle the initial interest.

Usually, no one is fortunate enough to meet the right half immediately. If you are lucky enough to, then it is really a matter of figuring out exactly whom it is. After all, you will feel even lonelier if you find someone who is not suitable for you. If you have a lover who lets you speak freely, and speaks to you genuinely and lovingly, then please cherish it. If your relationship is still young, then you can find common topics to discuss in order for you to truly develop your feelings. If you are still contemplating whether or not a person is suitable for you, just start with a chat!