Our lives have been dominated by the idea of FOMO, which refers to the ‘fear of missing out’. This forces us into an extremely self-conscious mindset and leads to further frustrations. Nowadays, even our relationships aren’t safe from the fear of missing out, with the emergence of what I like to call ‘fomo-sexuality’.

I fear that unsatisfied sex is greatly attributed to this fear of missing out. Instead of enjoying great sex and being intimate with your partner, people seem to be more concerned about what they are missing out on instead of living in the moment, and judge their sex lives based on FOMO.

Am I not having enough sex? Am I not having enough orgasms? Am I not sexy enough in bed? These are just a few of the false perceptions that can destroy happy relationships.

We all know porn gives us a false idea about what great sex is supposed to be, but in more recent times, relfies (relationship selfies) can do just as much damage. When we see other couples posting photos with romantic filters, making their lives look perfect, it makes us worry about the flawed reality of our own relationships. This is why so many people are unhappy with their sex lives. We are so fearful of missing out that we forget how to be happy with what already have.

When thinking of the word, “mindfulness”, yoga mats and lifestyle gurus usually spring to mind. However, mindfulness is just another word for focusing and enjoying what you have. Not only do we need to focus on what is right in front of us to find enjoyment, but we must also go beyond that to rejoice in what feels good. Positive mindfulness is how we fight against FOMO, not just in relationships but in general life too.

We spend so much energy trying to make our lives better that we never take the time to live in the moment and enjoy them. Nothing is perfect; sex and relationships will never be perfect, but perfection isn’t our target. The most important thing is to enjoy and celebrate what we have and what we are experiencing at the moment.

We are all fomo-sexuals in some way, and even though it is a very new term, we have always been fearful of missing out, be it in regard to sex or everyday life. It’s only now that we are faced with more false comparisons by social media and the Internet.

There is a solution. You can choose to internalize your negative thoughts about your love and sex life and believe you will never be fulfilled, or you can choose to focus on enjoying exactly what life has to offer you.

More in category