In order to apply cognitive abilities to emotions, let us start with what is called "cognition." First of all, what are cognitive abilities? Cognitive abilities are brain-based skills we use to carry out any task, from the simplest to the most complex. They have more to do with the mechanisms of how we learn, remember, problem-solve, and pay attention, rather than actual knowledge.

In the past we always believed that personality and thinking patterns were fixed and difficult to change. However, psychologists have discovered that people are actually products of self-prediction and it is your own long-term inertial thinking that forms your way of thinking. This stubborn closed loop of thought always leads to irrational behavior and negative emotions, hindering your achievement of goals and ability to problem solve, as well as affecting your work and life. In short, it is not emotion that traps you. It is you who trap yourself. There are four stages you must go through to change your life for the better.

First Stage:

"You don’t know that you don’t know.” At this stage, most people think that they see all. Either they are unwilling to face their problems, or they are self-righteous and consider themselves to be experts at life and relationships. Even if others tell you that you are wrong, you will choose to turn a blind eye. Most people at this stage have two big blind spots: the first blind spot relates to overconfidence and pride. The second blind spot is related to low self-esteem. When applying this to conflict within relationships, the first blind spot will confuse you and lead you to the angry thought of, "How could they do this to me?" The second type of blind spot will lead to the thought, "Am I not good enough to be loved?"

Second Stage:

"You know that you don’t know.” Recognizing the facts is the first step to achieve change. If you know that you don't know, you give yourself the opportunity to learn and re-establish a new cognitive model using specific methods such reading more, chatting with people in different fields, utilizing empathy in daily situations, and so on. Everyone’s ideas are limited; even the most powerful masters have limitations in their cognitive vision. The average person often misses new opportunities because they cannot see though the limitations of their thoughts. If you want to reduce your mistakes, you must take more time to reflect on what you have done. The difference between expertise and mediocrity is not intelligence, but cognitive ability. When encountering emotional problems, try to find and use more information in order to empathize. Discuss for longer the topic of “emotions”. After practicing this, you may be better at understanding other peoples’ perspectives.

Third Stage:

"You know that you know.” At this stage, your knowledge has accumulated to a certain extent. You have gradually improved your cognitive skills and have begun to grasp more concepts. Now you can begin to analyze yourself objectively and set goals. It should be noted that ordinary masters are usually complacent at this stage. You may become self-righteous, which is often a self-perpetuating poison. More importantly, thinking that it is okay to do without recognizing your actions is a form of pseudo-cognition. In terms of sex, practice is necessary, and the more clearly you can define what kind of love you desire, the easier it is to find the right person.

Fourth Stage:

"You don’t know that you know”. There will always be more perspectives and knowledge to gain, as there will always be more people to learn from. You must adopt an “empty cup” mindset and continue to collect new information. You cannot let yourself be limited by what you already know. If you are not limited by your old perceptions and continue along with this mindset, you will eventually be able to reach a higher realm of consciousness. No matter what choices you make in your love life, you must be comfortable with them by trusting your judgment; do not try to change your choices by attempting to change the person you have chosen to be your partner. Sometimes it is necessary to encounter a variety of things: meet people who disagree with you, expose yourself to quarrels, encounter the possibility of being attacked, and give yourself the opportunity to re-examine yourself in order to correct your perception of love. To sum up, to face your own current predicaments realistically and honestly, whether it is emotional problems, work problems, lack of money, or ability to fulfill your goals. Changes take time to accumulate and accepting that one's own ability is limited is a must for maintaining mental health. Under this premise, use human communication, and self-reflection to boost your accumulation of knowledge, improve your cognitive ability; break through your cognitive limitations, your current emotional blind spots.