March 29, 2020

Relationship

DailyHum News
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I am in emotional and financial freefall after my husband left me | Dear Mariella
Relationship

The dilemma My husband of 10 years left me last year. It has been horrendous since. Our two children (eight and four) have not taken it well and have developed separation anxiety.My ex-husband has a busy job, so 99% of the childcare falls to me. When the children cry for him and I’ve asked him to see them, he says he has plans. I veer between anger and fear. He gets to decide my future and has left me to deal with the emotional wreckage, while he gets to have a life that I can’t. He earns a six-figure salary and pays enough for the mortgage, but he’s stopped housekeeping money. I am skidding around with two children and three part-time jobs.I spoke to a solicitor, but I can’t afford to go down that route. All of our friends were mutual, but he’s more important to know and so none of them has contacted me. I’m too embarrassed to tell my mum friends.
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Your place or mine? Coronavirus forces couples to choose
Relationship

Not long ago, the longest time Ewa Lelontko had spent in her partner’s company was two weeks.For all of their one-year relationship, Lelontko, 31, was living in Brighton while Diego Vidal-Cruzprieto, 30, was in York, studying for his PhD; they saw each other every other weekend.Now they live and work together, forced into round-the-clock cohabitation by the coronavirus crisis.“We’re trying to work from one room, trying to exercise in front of each other,” says Lelontko. “Of course it’s testing our patience. We’re setting boundaries and we’re learning new things about each other, but actually, being together in this is really nice.“I know some couples who have to be separated – so we’re very lucky.”
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Can't move in with your partner? Here's how to survive isolating without them | James Greig
Relationship

Since the coronavirus outbreak reached the UK, I’ve only seen my boyfriend for five minutes, when he dropped off some baba ganoush and paracetamol at my flat. I was scared I might infect him, so we had an emotionally charged conversation at two metres’ distance, which felt like a combination of a chaste Regency courtship drama and a young adult dystopian romance. It’s a strange situation: six months into our relationship, we’re having to weather the obstacle of a global pandemic, and the potential role our romance could play in spreading it. I can say with certainty that neither of us planned for this.But we feel like there isn’t much choice other than to get on with it. Earlier this week, Jenny Harries, the deputy chief medical officer, made an announcement that sent a chill down the spine of the nation’s commitment-phobes. Speaking to the BBC, she suggested that couples currently living in separate households should either remain apart or “test the strength of their relationship” by moving in together. British couples are now faced with a stark choice between spending far too much or far too little time with one other. It’s hard to think of a less promising context in which to progress a relationship.
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Sex And Intimacy In The Age Of Coronavirus
Relationship

In a matter of weeks, the coronavirus has swept the globe and dramatically changed the way we live our lives. Yet, that innate human need for sex and int...
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6 Surefire Signs You’re In a Relationship With A Man-Child
Relationship

Consider whether you’re in a relationship with a person you constantly have to carry in life instead of a true partner you can rely on. What looks like silly and sweet could eventually turn into deadweight that you have to drag for life – together with your kids, finances, and household duties.Here are 6 warning signs that you might be in a relationship with a man-child.1. He never picks up after himselfHe always creates a mess all around. You’re constantly finding yourself picking up his food, clothes, and so on, and this is truly pitiful. A real man cleans up after himself, and that’s that. Sure, we all forget sometimes, but the distinction with a man-child is that he expects you to be the one who will clean up after him 24/7. He expects to be treated like a needy child, and you to be his maid. Stop cleaning after him. Instead, clean up your life and dispose of him.
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If You Want To Find True Happiness, Cut The Energy Vampires Out Of Your Life
Relationship

All the people in your surroundings you spend time with are people you give energy to. And the more energy you give them, the more they will either support you or take advantage of you.If you really want to lead a happy life, you must cut the energy flow of toxic or undeserving people. People who aren’t willing to give back do not deserve to be fed. If they won’t help us grow, they only hold us back.Being happy is not about being around as many people as possible, it is about building relationships with like-minded individuals with whom you can grow together. Inevitably, you will cross paths people who will make you feel worthless and they certainly do not deserve to be around you!Energy vampires can sometimes even be our friends or members of our family, and we don’t realize what is going on until they’ve managed to sink their teeth in us. 
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7 Awesome Reasons Why Having A Sister Makes You A Better Person
Relationship

Having a sister is more precious than anything else. She can be the most irritating and the most loving person at the same time in one body.Sometimes you would want her to disappear and regret having her but then again, you remind yourself that your life would never have been the same without her presence.And let’s face it, you cannot imagine your life without her. After all, having a sister is a gift that not everyone receives.And growing up with a sister even makes you a better person for a number of reasons.Let us take a look at some of them.1. Your sister helps you become a better communicatorThis can only make complete sense considering the fact that sisters tell each other everything. Those revealing late night sister talks about all things in life prepare women to be more open and understanding with their romantic partners in later years.
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How we met: ‘He was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. I asked him: “Are you single?”’
Relationship

Hannah was on her way home from work in London when she noticed the tube attendant on the platform. “I just thought he was the most beautiful man I had ever seen.” This was three years after a painful breakup, when she believed she was, finally, “totally at peace” with being single.She felt “a fluttering feeling” as their eyes met. “I’ve never felt such intense magnetism,” she says. But afterwards Hannah, now 31, could not remember which platform, or even the station, she had seen the man on.She looked out for him for weeks. Then, after leaving her office early one day, she saw him again – at Finsbury Park station. Next time, she promised herself, she would ask him out.The next day, there he was again.
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'It's like a remote sleepover': my week meeting quarantined strangers
Relationship

Just before everything changed, one week ago, I was out in the backyard with my kids. I remember that the moon rose early and bright, and when I pointed to it, my five-year-old said confidently: “That’s not the moon. It’s a quarter floating in the sky.” It took me by surprise, the poetry of his words, and so we giggled and tried to pluck it from the branches of a tree.The next morning, we woke to a world transformed.•••Last Thursday was the first day I kept the kids home from school, though schools in Arizona were technically still open. It seemed the prudent thing to do. Italy was officially in crisis, having logged hundreds of Covid-19 deaths in a single day. We began to hear the phrase “social distancing”. While my first thought was protecting my parents and grandmother, who are at risk because of their ages, my second thought was about art and connection. I wondered immediately, what will we make – separately, together – in this strange, horrifying time?
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I have a foot fetish and it makes my girlfriend feel inadequate
Relationship

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year. We have a great dynamic and have always had amazing sex. I have a foot fetish and told her about it from the start. She is totally OK with it and we have incorporated it into our sex life here and there. I understand that it is new to her, but I wanted to try some more things with her slowly, and I asked her if she can sometimes initiate. She has her own quirks and although I don’t quite like some of them, I let her do them anyway and sometimes initiate them because I know it brings her pleasure. But when I talked to her, she said that I made her feel inadequate by asking. She believes that there is no point because it would feel weird for both of us. But if she really liked me, wouldn’t she want to try to leave her comfort zone? Isn’t that what lovers are for?
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7 Warning Signs Of Toxic People In Your Life
Relationship

“Like arsenic, toxic people will slowly kill you. They kill your positive spirit and play with your mind and emotions. The only cure is to let them go.” – Dennisse Lisseth“Like arsenic, toxic people will slowly kill you. They kill your positive spirit and play with your mind and emotions. The only cure is to let them go.” – Dennisse LissethBeing in a relationship with a toxic person can be difficult, mostly because they can be hard to spot and often even harder to get away from.Even though not all toxic people will exhibit all of these characteristics, here are 7 signs that can warn you of a potential toxic relationship.1. They get extremely jealousToxic people can get so jealous that they will try to control their partner in an unhealthy way. This one can be a little murky since not all boundaries are valid. Toxic individuals use ‘boundaries’ as a way to control, and then play the victim themselves once their ‘boundaries’ are crossed or disrespected.
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It’s Time to Talk About the Grief
Relationship

It’s time to talk about an uncomfortable topic for many.Grief.Grief is so uncomfortable that many struggle to know what to say to someone experiencing the grief of a sudden, soul-crushing loss.  But grief can also sneak up on you.  The unfolding coronavirus pandemic is a set-up for this as people can initially be more aware of the other normal responses to this abnormal situation such as shock, anger, fear, worry, stress and anxiety.I heard grief whisper in my ear the first time several days ago when out walking with my family on a nearby fire road, as were others as they have been ritualistically doing every evening.  The experience of us all purposefully walking around each other to practice social distancing and the vague underlying energetic tension in the air hit home for me.
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My husband and I can’t agree on our future after IVF. How do we move on?
Relationship

My husband and I both have fertility issues and underwent IVF. We were lucky to conceive our child (who is now one) on the first attempt; it was a complicated, high-risk pregnancy. After the birth I had some health issues, including postnatal depression (PND), but have now recovered. I think my husband found this much more stressful than I did.We originally wanted two or three children. Before beginning IVF, we agreed to use all the embryos from the cycle. However, he now says that he thought we agreed to use all the embryos until we had a child, then decide what to do with any that were left (I believe this may be a genuine miscommunication).We have one frozen embryo remaining, which I am desperate to use. I understand it’s unlikely to work, but the grief in that event would be better for me than the uncertainty of leaving it. My husband doesn’t want the stress of another pregnancy, although specialists have said it’s unlikely to be as much of a problem a second time. He also sees the embryo as “just cells”, not our potential child.
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Isolation Life
Relationship

Something really interesting happens when you’re forced to slow down.  One thing, you get creative.As the new way of living in social distancing rolls into the third week, I’m noticing myself doing things differently as I move around in my home.  The pressure to be anywhere isn’t there.  I’m more mindfully attending to the dishes in the sink and fully cleaning the kitchen without preoccupation with what else needs to be done.  I’m doing things I normally would like to but those things typically stay on the bottom of my to-do lists; like art and baking.  I’m appreciating humor now more than ever which is plentiful now in the form of memes, YouTube videos and the like.On Twitter, there is a hashtag making the rounds called #IsolationLife and people from all over the world are sharing the things they are doing while in self-quarantine.  It’s clear people are stretching themselves, finding silver linings, having new experiences and using loads of humor to get through it all.
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I've started seeing an old friend – but he is married
Relationship

My husband passed away 16 years ago. I threw myself into my children’s and grandchildren’s lives. Then I got a Facebook friend request from someone I knew a long time ago. We immediately connected. He asked me about my marriage and I told him I have not dated anyone since my husband died. He told me he has been married for 20 years but there is no intimacy. They are just best friends. I tend to believe him, as they are never together. Is this possible?I love everything about him. He is everything my husband was not. Everything I need. We see each other twice a year. He lives very far from me. I do not want to marry him. I like it just the way it is. I just don’t know how to process this. What is your advice?
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Joy Division is perfect for the Covid-19 crisis
Relationship

I reckon Tim Martin, who is worth about £440m, could afford to pay his 43,000 Wetherspoons staff over £10,000 each. Even a fraction of that might help tide them over until the government payment scheme is in place (JD Wetherspoon denies ‘abandoning’ staff in coronavirus crisis, 24 March). Mark Walford London• Re Toby Wood’s letter (23 March) asking for suggestions for classic albums to listen to, many people, including myself, consider Joy Division’s output to be peerless. But closer scrutiny of the songs of the lyricist and singer Ian Curtis show they reflect our current Covid-19 world with uncanny foresight – Transmission, Colony, Incubation, Isolation and the haunting From Safety to Where…? Michael Dawson St Ives, Cambridgeshire
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Blind date: ‘I wish we’d talked more about hot priests’
Relationship

What were you hoping for? Someone sparky and able to take the conversation anywhere.First impressions? Dressed far better than me. I realised halfway through that I had not ironed my shirt properly. Sorry, Mum.What did you talk about? Our love for our godchildren, nieces and nephews, her decision to get ordained as a minister next year, how she loves war films “because of the male-on-male bonding”, hot priests.Any awkward moments? When the waitress serving us said what a good idea this date was, and another waiter tried and dramatically failed to ask her out. You had to see it.Good table manners? Yes.Best thing about Laura? She loves It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, too – she compared me to Mac, even though I’m definitely Charlie.
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7 Brutally Honest Truths About Emotional Abusers
Relationship

Emotional violence is another kind of abuse … it’s not about words because an emotionally abusive person doesn’t always resort to using the verbal club, but rather the verbal untraceable poison. – Augusten BurroughsEmotional violence is another kind of abuse … it’s not about words because an emotionally abusive person doesn’t always resort to using the verbal club, but rather the verbal untraceable poison. – Augusten BurroughsEmotional abuse is also referred to as psychological or mental abuse.Its function is to belittle, isolate, shame and control others into subservience. It happens incrementally over time, and in the end, the victim’s sense of self-worth and own way of thinking erode into submission.
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I thought I was career-driven, but I can’t bear to leave my baby | Dear Mariella
Relationship

The dilemma I have a nine-month-old daughter and have begun to return to work. Before I gave birth I was sure this wouldn’t be a difficult decision; I’ve never been maternal and my career has always been a priority, so a pay decrease and inevitably getting overlooked for projects and progression wasn’t on the cards. However, watching her grow has been the most rewarding and enjoyable period of my life and I feel guilty. She loves nursery, but the thought of her interacting with her care workers more than me makes me very upset. I feel as if I’d be throwing these early years away. My partner would happily drop some of his hours, but his work won’t allow it, whereas I am offered much more flexibility. It seems like a privilege to even have this option, but I feel my whole identity has changed and everything I thought was important is being challenged. Every mum I’ve spoken to says I’m more likely to regret the time I didn’t spend with her, and I think they’re right. It feels as if I’m taking a gamble whichever decision I make.