November 11, 2019

Relationship

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How we met: ‘Luke fell on top of me and broke my arm’
Relationship

When Nad’a stopped at Luke’s food stall along the river embankment in Prague in summer 2015, she wasn’t expecting sparks to fly. “I was surprised to see that he was selling Middle Eastern food, because he looks about as Irish as you can get. I thought I’d go over and try it to see if it was any good.” As a vegan, she couldn’t eat his speciality chicken dish, but he made her a plant-based version. “It was amazing. I also noticed he had really nice eyes – but I couldn’t stay. I had to pack for a summer in Spain.”Luke says that Nad’a was “the best-looking person I’ve ever seen” and he hoped to bump into her again. “For the next few months, she kept popping into my head at random moments. It was very strange.” Although she returned to the food market when she came back to Prague, she did not see Luke. “I was at a wedding so I didn’t get to see her,” he says.
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I’m having sex eight times a day – do I need to rein in my libido?
Relationship

I am a recently divorced 55-year-old woman in physically good shape. After a virtually sexless marriage, I recently started seeing someone who has turned out to be an amazing lover. So far so good, except sex has taken over my life. He lives at the other end of the country, which means we can spend only every other week together, but when we do, we’ll have sex as many as seven or eight times a day. He is in his 50s, too, and I really don’t know how he does it – there’s no Viagra involved. But I have no complaints. Should I just go with it or try to get my mania for sex under some sort of control?• When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.
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My partner of 30 years wants to leave. How can I get her to stay?
Relationship

The dilemma After a happy relationship lasting 30 years and bringing up two beautiful children, my partner says she hasn’t felt supported or been able to talk to me for the past three years. During this time, we’ve suffered several tragedies – the death of my stepdad, the death of my partner’s mother and the sexual assault of our daughter at a party last year – which led to me taking time off from my highly stressful work environment as I struggled to cope.I’ve discovered texts to her old male college friends where she talked about not loving me any more and not finding me sexually attractive – and I’m heartbroken. The woman I love more than anything in the world wants to leave me. We’ve had several counselling sessions and now live day by day in the “grey zone”, at least until our daughter goes to university next September.
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10 things deep women will never tolerate in a relationship
Relationship

Deep women are strong women.They know their worth. Besides, they know exactly what they want and what to avoid in a relationship.The bar is raised high, so if you are in love with a deep woman, here are the 10 things she would never tolerate in a relationship.1. Disrespect is unforgivableIf at any point you make a deep woman feel like her time isn’t valuable for you, or she is not your top priority, you can kiss her and your relationship goodbye. These women know exactly what they’re made of, and they don’t need anyone who doesn’t appreciate them the way they should. They know they deserve better. Most importantly, they know how to get better.2. Empty excuses never work with a deep woman
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My life in sex: I watch my wife sleep with younger men
Relationship

We met in 2001, fell instantly in love, and married 14 months later. During our honeymoon in Paris, I suggested we visit a couples-only swingers’ club. It had always been my dream (I’d been married before, but my ex-wife wouldn’t entertain the idea), and luckily my wife agreed.At first we had a rule: we touch nobody and nobody touches us; we just watch and are watched. This carried on for years, until we inadvertently attended a club where single guys were also present for “trios”. That night, we met an attractive guy, 20 years our junior, who just wanted to chat, at first.Later that evening, I was with my wife in the Jacuzzi when he came and sat beside us. He resumed the friendly conversation, and after about 15 minutes my wife surprised me by whispering that she’d like a threesome. I was shocked but excited, and before long he’d given her the most amazing orgasm. It transpired that she needed a young, virile body to give her something I couldn’t.
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We need to teach girls that sex is something to be enjoyed – not feared | Flo Perry
Relationship

I have some exciting news for US rapper TI’s daughter: there is no way to tell if a vagina has ever had a penis inside it by medically examining it. Despite this medical truth, TI recently told the podcast Ladies Like Us of how he talks to his daughter about sex: “Not only have we had the conversation, we have yearly trips to the gynaecologist to check her hymen. Yes, I go with her … I will say, as of her 18th birthday, her hymen is still intact.”For many centuries, a woman’s virginity was seen as her most valuable commodity, and preserving it her most important mission. Because a woman’s virginity was so valuable to men, people felt they needed a way of proving it. So, long ago, some bright spark decided that a random bit of tissue that sits just inside the entrance to a woman’s vagina would act as proof that his daughter was definitely a virgin. This idea spread far and wide – so much so that many cultures have an ancient tradition of holding up the bedsheet of a newly married couple to show the wife’s blood, to “prove” she was a virgin. In medieval times there was even advice about how to fake this blood if you weren’t a virgin. It involved leeches, obviously.
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I had a fling on a work trip and it has shaken my world
Relationship

I am a 38-year-old woman, married with two young children. Recently, I went on a business trip and had an affair with a man 30 years my senior and something of a mentor figure. The following day he avoided me; when he did finally talk to me, he was distant and patronising.When I emailed him about work, it took him a week to respond. Several days later, I sent him another email telling him how I felt, but also included work-related things; I wanted to indicate that I was happy to leave it at that. He responded to every banal detail in the email, but avoided any mention of what had happened between us. I miss him terribly. I’m also sad that I perhaps misjudged him, and wonder if he isn’t such a lovely person. I know he has two adult children and problems with his wife.
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Single people are an electoral force in the US. Is the UK following suit? | Gaby Hinsliff
Relationship

Lately my friends and I have started joking that a commune is the answer. A big old rambling house in the south of France, maybe, with plenty of interesting people to talk to and a cellar full of booze.It’s not quite clear how we will manage the cellar steps, though, given this imaginary commune is for the hopefully distant day when we are old and frail but still desperate to avoid a nursing home. It’s only a daydream really, but for the singletons in our group it perhaps has a more serious side. When you’re young you worry about finding someone to love, but as time goes on the fear is more about who will look after you.All this is obviously a long way off for the actor Emma Watson, who explained to Vogue this week how, at 29, she has learned to be relaxed about being single, or “self-partnered” as she prefers to call it, and approaching 30. She sees herself not as lacking something but fine as she is, making her a part of a growing single positive movement which preaches the joys of learning how to be on your own but not lonely. When the Sunday Times columnist and author Dolly Alderton gave up dating for a year, she wrote that she’d missed “GCSE physics coursework, waiting for a night bus in the rain, the BCG vaccination” more than the soul-destroying business of trying to meet someone; it was so much nicer just not to bother.
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You Don’t Need A Man, You Need A Hero
Relationship

Are you an independent woman who is struggling to find love in the face of a simple man?Did you have your heart broken because you didn’t receive the loyalty and acceptance you needed? This article is dedicated to all the strong ladies out there who need even stronger men to love and support them. Ladies who need a hero in their life.You are a powerful intelligent woman who has her own type of chaotic beauty.Life has taught you that you have done it all by yourself and you often have the feeling that your partner just doesn’t understand you. Don’t you ever think that there is something wrong with you. What you need is someone who will cherish you for the way you are and who will give you strength and protect your heart.
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You are ruled by your habits, here’s how to make sure that’s a good thing
Relationship

Aristotle said that excellence is a habit, but he said that about 2,000 years before Wendy Wood followed 2,000 people around and observed their daily activities and neurology.This study found that 40-45% of our daily decisions aren’t decisions at all, but habits. Routines. Anyone who’s ever forgotten how they got to (or from) work understands this feeling.Much of the time, we are experiencing auto pilot. This could be good news or bad news depending on what our habits are.Does our habit bring us to the gym each day before work, or for a donut at the drive through? Does our habit have us reading mindless social media comments, or books that enhance our knowledge?It’s easy to see how, once a cycle has begun, it can drastically change the course of our life over time.
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Sorry, Your Ex Isn’t as Into You as You Are Her
Relationship

Breakfast with the ex. It’s a post-break-up tradition.And why not? You guys spent a big chunk of your lives together. You were friends first, lovers second. You have a lot in common. And all those other things you tell yourself. Why not catch up every now and then?RELATED:Should You Stay Friends With an Ex? Experts Weigh InBut here’s the thing. Your glowing memories of her might be shaded by the difficult times, but new research suggests she’s even less into giving you a glowing reference. The study, published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science found that, contrary to popular perception, men tend to view their ex-partners more fondly than women view theirs.So maybe cancel breakfast. And then we can let you know what’s going on.
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How we stay together: 'You don’t have to make the other person be just like you'
Relationship

Names: Hilary Bell and Phillip Johnston Years together: 22 Occupations: Playwright and composer/saxophonistFor Hilary Bell and Phillip Johnston, the secret of their enduring relationship can be likened to that of a good artistic collaboration. “You’re very vulnerable when you’re creating work,” Johnston says. “It’s never easy when you are writing, say, a score for a film or music for somebody’s lyrics and someone tells you, ‘No, that’s not right.’”Even if the refusal makes sense, there’s something within that wants to argue, he says. Even a good collaborator will feel the initial urge to push back, but “what really makes the difference … is not someone who doesn’t have that emotion, but someone who knows how to manage it”.
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Watch Snob on What to Read to Be a Real Watch Enthusiast
Relationship

Thank you for your weekly writings which have helped me very much on my continuing journey to empty the family savings. Your guidance has been invaluable, but I admit with some shame that while I have not bought the watches I have asked you about previously, each of your answers has helped me think about why I wanted the watch and to look further into my own progress in this ridiculously destructive addition.RELATED:Watch Snob Last Week: Why Zenith Shouldn’t Be OverlookedI would like to ask your guidance again on two aspects of watch appreciation. First, could you recommend a good book on the history of watches? I read [the] reviews and see statements describing a movement which takes inspiration from, say, pocket watches. I'm trying to gain an understanding of how design choices made by various watchmakers have been historically influenced, so, for example, when I look at a 3/4 plate, I would understand why it was preferred to a completely open movement.
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Alex Hirschi Talks Lambos, Date Night and Her Career Highlights
Relationship

Want more? Click here to read previous entries from our "What Women Want" series.With an Instagram handle like “supercarblondie,” care to take a guess what Alex Hirschi has a slight obsession with? Here’s a hint: They can go real, real fast.RELATED:Jenna Johnson Talks Being Respectful to Women“I’ve always had a goal to own a supercar one day,” she says. “There wasn’t one specific thing that kick-started my interest, but both my mum and dad loved driving, and I spent a lot of time in the car growing up. I am from a small country town in Australia and we all had to pile in the car in order to go anywhere. When I moved to Dubai, my interest started to grow more because I got to see supercars on a daily basis.”
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The sex technique ‘karezza’ could revitalize your relationship
Relationship

What is the ideal intercourse for you? The common conception of great sex is that it must end in orgasm for both partners.However, for those practicing ‘karezza‘, it’s quite the opposite. Not climaxing is indeed the point of this technique.In karezza, the sex doesn’t culminate in orgasm, but that doesn’t mean there’s no pleasure.The name ‘karezza’ comes from the Italian word ‘carezza’, which means caress. This style focuses on mellow, affectionate lovemaking, where the goal is stimulating intimacy, and deepening the connection between the partners. There are also various bonding approaches like deep breathing, kissing, gentle touching, eye-gazing, cuddling, and skin-to-skin contact.
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Move aside Emma Watson, here are five new ways to be single beyond ‘self-partnered’
Relationship

Emma Watson has managed to accidentally fire up western society’s jumbo hot take machine again, this time by using an inventive way to describe her single status.While many have supported her use of the term “self-partnered” for its more positive framing of single life, it’s also prompted the usual groans from those who seem to hate everything female celebrities say and do. Piers Morgan, for example, called it “rubbish”, and asked if it means she can’t “get a bloke”.While there have been some nuanced critiques, it’s amazing to see how much new terms can upset people. Isn’t this one of life’s small joys – to make sense of things in new, lighthearted ways? I’m not sad, I’m existentially challenged. We’re not about to all die on this plane, we’re simply flying to the scene of the crash. This parrot is not deceased, it is merely resting.
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The Art of Taking (and Sending) Naughty Pictures
Relationship

Dick pics have never been as popular as they are today. With relatively high-quality cameras in the pockets of almost everyone these days, it's possible for people with penises to take explicit nudes and share them with recipients anywhere in the world, instantly. Oh, the wonders of modern technology!But not everyone is happy to be on the receiving end of a dick pic. Historically, dick pics haven't found favor with many women, a large portion of whom tend to find them hostile, annoying and sometimes downright disgusting. They traditionally function as little more than advertisements for the sender's size, and women online suffer from an almost constant influx of dick pics from strangers, usually turning up in their inboxes, DMs and text messages without consent. Adding insult to injury is the fact that these NSFW surprises are almost always of dismal quality: poorly lit, blurry photographs taken at unflattering angles and containing no eroticism or intrigue whatsoever.
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Blind date: ‘He had a bit of tissue stuck to his face’
Relationship

What were you hoping for? To connect with someone, have a laugh and not spill any food down my white T.First impressions? Nice hair, very warm and engaging.What did you talk about? Work, how sweaty and hot we both get, Twitter, gym routines, being “woke” and the countryside.Any awkward moments? None that I can remember.Good table manners? Yes. Although we used our hands for certain dishes.Best thing about Shaun? He is very comfortable in his own skin and beams positivity.Would you introduce him to your friends? Yeah, sure.Describe Shaun in three words Passionate, confident, friendly.What do you think he made of you? Very smiley and talkative.Did you go on somewhere? To a local pub for a couple.
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12 crucial things you should do everyday for a lasting relationship
Relationship

Relationships are all about giving and sharing.Feelings, emotions, moments. All of this should be mutual. You should be willing to put enough effort in order to keep your relationship strong and lasting. When you are in love, this shouldn’t be as difficult as it may seem.If you want to make things work, you have to take some action.Here are 12 crucial things you should do everyday for a lasting relationship.1. Accept each otherLove your partner for who they are. Accept their flaws, and never force them to change. If you want to maintain a healthy relationship, you need to remember why you fell in love in the first place. Try to focus on the things that brought you together. Acceptance is crucial and should be mutual if you want to grow as a couple.
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Millennial Love podcast – latest updates
Relationship

Millennial Love is The Independent lifestyle desk’s dating and relationships podcast.Hosted by Olivia Petter, the podcast features in-depth discussions surrounding sexuality, identity and gender.Topics discussed in the second season include how to have feminist sex and dating in a post-#MeToo era.Stay updated with all things Millennial Love here or over on Instagram @Indy.Lifestyle.The Independent's Millennial Love group is the best place to discuss to the highs and lows of modern dating and relationships. Join the conversation here.​
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The struggle within the naturist movement – archive, 7 November 1969
Relationship

The fight is on inside British nudism between the hedonists and the disciplinarians, the radicals and the conservatives. At issue, among other things, is what Leslie Bainbridge, editor of Health and Efficiency, calls the “feast of the crotch” – the lavish and obsessive display of male and female genitalia in imported nudist magazines, particularly those from the United States.A consignment of such American magazines – which bear the stamp of approval of one of the leading US nudist associations – was confiscated earlier this week after magistrates ruled that some of the magazines were obscene.It is not simply that the magazines are already unretouched, there is already an unretouched British nudist magazine which you can order from your local newsagent. In the US magazines, legs are nearly always apart or spread wide, camera angles nearly always low, the subjects nearly always young and attractive.
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Porn to my ears: I tried audio erotica – would it turn me on?
Relationship

I never thought I’d be paid to listen to audio erotica at work, but two hours before the end of Monday it’s happening – and I’m uncomfortable about it.At least I know I’m not the only one listening. In the last year, a number of platforms have surfaced to offer audio erotic content. A paid-for service called Dipsea launched as an app in December last year and has already been downloaded 300,000 times. The website Quinn opened its free service 18 months ago.From my cursory browse, I notice some common strands. All of it is fairly cheesy, but then so is most porn. The erotica I listen to is short – each segment between 8 and 10 minutes – but they require your undivided attention. You have to imagine what’s going on, either by inserting yourself in the frame or imagining others. Broadly speaking, the recordings feel more empowering than most porn – the women are having safe and happy sexual encounters, and they are not being manipulated, demeaned or coerced.
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Eat This, Not That: Holiday Food Edition
Relationship

Holiday gatherings are all about having fun, catching up with friends and family and checking all your stresses at the door for a few days. The last thing you should be worried about is how you’ll avoid all the holiday party treats. That said, if you’re on the brink of achieving your fitness goals, it may not be worth going off the rails and gaining a few pounds just for the sake of gingerbread cookies and mulled wine. Making choices that you enjoy and that make you feel good is possible – and actually quite simple if you know what you’re up against.RELATED:Nutrition Myths and FactsThat’s why we’ve put together a list of all the holiday foods you should skip on, and what you should be indulging in instead. Some of them are super easy and just as enjoyable, like opting for red wine rather than rum and eggnog on Christmas Eve, or going for olives and nuts instead of chips and dip, but there are some other, sneakier holiday foods that you may not even realize are packed with carbs and sugar.
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If Your Partner Shows Any of These Signs, It's Time to End Things
Relationship

What is a deal breaker, exactly? It’s a trait in a romantic partner that outweighs any positive attributes they have. Often, they’ll show up early in a relationship, but in some cases, you might not come across one until things have already gotten quite serious.While a red flag is more of a warning, a deal-breaker is a level beyond that. However happy a person makes you, or however attractive, romantic, or desirable they are, if they’re in possession of one or more of the following traits, you should think long and hard about whether this relationship is a good idea.Now, the final decision of whether to stay or not is up to you. Keep in mind that the longer the relationship goes on, the harder the eventual breakup will be. If you catch sight of one of these deal breakers early on and your partner seems unwilling to work on changing them, it might be better to cut your losses and move on.
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Everything you need to know before engaging in an office relationship
Relationship

With the average person spending 90,000 hours working over a lifetime, it’s fair to say that many of us find ourselves spending more time with our colleagues than our family and friends.So, it’s not wonder our social and professional lives can so easily become entwined. But, while workplace relationships can certainly help take the edge off the daily grind, it can also be damaging to your career.Just ask Steve Easterbrook, who was fired as the British CEO of McDonald’s after he broke company policy by engaging in a consensual relationship with an employee.McDonald’s, which forbids managers from having romantic relationships with colleagues, said that Mr Easterbrook had “demonstrated poor judgement” and its board of directors voted for his departure on Friday.
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The attachment secret: are you a secure, avoidant or anxious partner?
Relationship

It was the breakup that changed Amir Levine’s life. Fifteen years ago, he told his partner that he was falling in love with him and wanted them to move forward as a couple. His partner fled, moving across the country. The end of the relationship was especially painful for Levine. At the time he was a student at Columbia University in New York, where he is now assistant professor of clinical psychiatry. He was working in a therapeutic nursery programme, helping mothers with post-traumatic stress bond with their children. Through it, he became fascinated by the science of adult attachment.In the 1950s, the influential British psychologist and psychiatrist John Bowlby observed the lifelong impact of the earliest bonds formed in life, between children and parents, or primary caregivers: attachment theory, which has been widely researched and drawn upon since then. There are three major styles of attachment: secure, anxious and avoidant.
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Every Classic Way to Spice Sex Up, Ranked
Relationship

‘How to spice up your sex life’ lists are a well-worn trope of the relationship advice industry by now. They’ve been a perennial favorite of both men’s and women’s advice magazines for decades, and now that digital publishing is all the rage, you can hardly throw a Google query about sex without accidentally running into one. The only problem is, they’re all more or less saying the same things. There are only so many things you can realistically do to ‘spice up your sex life’ in a way that’s realistic and easy to attain, pleasurable enough to be worth trying, and fresh enough to be different from what you’re already doing. Of course, every now and then, something new — think the increasing normalization of sexting — comes along and gives every sex and dating expert out there a new weapon in their arsenal. But until the next trend pops up, you’re basically pulling at straws.
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Is it sexist to call a brilliant, fit, younger male lover a toyboy?
Relationship

Name: Toyboy.Age: Considerably younger.Appearance: Fit.Why does it have to be all about looks? Because apart from youth, that’s the main bit of being a toyboy.Not necessarily. Yes, necessarily.I’d like to hear your definition of toyboy, in that case. Toyboy (n): a younger, handsome, well-built, not terribly bright lover.How dare you assume that’s what women are looking for in a toyboy? Sorry, are you looking for an unattractive toyboy who is older than you?No, but why can’t a toyboy be much younger and also very clever? I don’t know, but I can’t think of an example.What about Helena Bonham Carter’s boyfriend Rye Dag Holmboe? The name doesn’t ring a bell. Can you describe him?Well, he is 21 years her junior … Classic toyboy.
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What a Girl Wants in a Hookup (And Yes, Size Matters)
Relationship

Women can be a mystery to some men and figuring out what we want in a short-term relationship can make things even more difficult. Thankfully, some new survey data from a collab between the University of Gottingen and 68,000 users of female health app Clue might be able to help.RELATED:Best Hookup Sites and AppsFirst, it probably shouldn’t surprise anyone that the anonymous women surveyed admitted that size matters. Surprisingly however, there was a strong preference for an average-sized penis rather than a giant one. That should take a little bit of the edge off, at least.Unsurprisingly (take a look around any major urban center these days), women are showing a notable interest in short hair paired with beards. Given the massive crush of 20-something and 30-something guys roaming the streets with tight fades and hipster beards, it looks like guys might have already picked up on this signal.
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The truth about the clitoris: why it's not just built for pleasure
Relationship

The results are finally in – a study in Clinical Anatomy has found that the clitoris does play an important role in reproduction, activating a series of brain effects (taking as read, incidentally, that it is done right: so we are talking about a female orgasm, not about an ignored clitoris, sitting there, minding its own business). Those brain effects in brief: enhancement of vaginal blood flow, increased lubrication, oxygen and temperature, and an altered position of the cervix, which paradoxically slows down the sperm and improves their motility.From a lay perspective, this feels pretty uncontroversial. The clitoris is right there in the reproductive ballpark; it would be weird if it did not at least try to help. Yet this – perhaps predictably, since female sexuality is involved – is a highly contested space.
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I hate my husband's centre part. How do I make the best of a stupid situation?
Relationship

My husband of a dozen years, boyfriend of almost twice that, insists on wearing his hair parted in the middle. I hate it. Always have, always will. I have asked him a number of times to wear it differently: tousled, somewhat side part, shorter without any part, just anything other than the way it is.He sometimes complies but it usually always goes back to the blasted middle part. And while this is terribly shallow on my end, it is seriously impacting my perception of him. He will step through the door, and I have to avert my eyes, as I find him seriously unattractive due to the way he wears his hair. I have tried to focus instead on his many great qualities, as well as remember how it used to be when I found him attractive. I try to redirect my thoughts from the anger and disappointment I feel every time I see him anew. It seems to me he isn’t willing to explore a look that would work for both of us. So how do I make the best of a stupid situation?
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7 Heartwarming Moments of Healthy Masculinity in Pop Culture
Relationship

Pop culture is full of examples of toxic masculinity — violence, jealousy, bad parenting, and so on. It’s hard to watch a single movie or episode of TV without seeing a guy set a bad example for the younger generation of men, and frankly, it’s the protagonist nearly as often as the villain. Culturally speaking, we haven’t reached a point in the stories we tell where men are allowed to be people first and foremost. We end up with movies and TV shows where men have to be strong at all costs, fight and save the day. Those guys who stumble, cry, or put others first are often characterized as weak and laughable, the butts of a giant cultural joke about gender. But through all the bad, there’s still some good that takes the form of lessons about how to be a good man in our cultural narrative, like diamonds of progressive masculinity in the rough of regressive, chest-thumping machismo.
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Self-partnered: the sudden, surprising rise of the single positivity movement
Relationship

Once upon a time we were brought up on fairytales. If we were lucky, they said, we would meet a prince or princess and live happily ever after. If not, we would tread a lonely road to the grave, with only cats to comfort us.But an increasing number of “single-positive” people are rejecting the notion that true love is the only path to happiness. Just this week, the actor Emma Watson told Vogue how a “bloody influx of subliminal messaging” had left her “stressed and anxious” because she was heading into her 30s without a husband and baby. Now, however, she is “very happy” to be single. “I call it being self-partnered.”The pop star Selena Gomez, meanwhile, whose single-positive songs include Lose You to Love Me and Look at Her Now, has been talking about the fun she has had as a “super, super single” woman since splitting up with Justin Bieber two years ago. On Twitter, fellow singer Ariana Grande called the time since her split with Pete Davidson “one hell of a productive, emotional, wild and yet ... happy! year”. And as for Lizzo, currently touring the UK, she is proud to say she puts the “sing in single”. As she put it in her 2017 hit Truth Hurts: “I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever be your side chick … Ain’t worried ’bout a ring on my finger.”
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A Third of Men Still Feel Pressure to Be Masculine, Movember Reveals
Relationship

We know by now how important it is for men to approach their mental health in honest and productive ways.But new research, commissioned by Movember, suggests that too many men are still wrestling in relative silence with issues such as masculinity, anxiety and depression. RELATED:American Men Under Pressure to "Man Up," Reveals StudyIn perhaps the most alarming revelation, a third of men still feel pressure to be masculine or manly, while approximately half see masculinity as advantageous in landing a partner, dealing with day-to-day life and getting or keeping a job.And while men definitely do see the benefits of talking about their issues, far fewer end up actually opening up about what’s bothering them.
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These Beer Cans Have Pics of Dogs That Need Homes
Relationship

Man's best friend. Does that old chestnut apply to dogs, or beer? Perhaps both, as Fargo Brewing Company is now proving. Fur friends looking for their forever home are proudly displayed on the side of beer cans coming from the craft brewery, their cute little smoosh-able faces encouraging adoption.Teaming up with North Dakota-based animal rescue organization 4 Luv of Dog, Fargo Brewing is proud to launch their “Oneder Dog” lager in support of these wayward pups. The Facebook page detailing the launch of Oneder Dog goes out of its way to make sure that attendees know they can add a furry friend to their family, if they so choose.“It’s our hope that through this event we can raise a little awareness about these ‘one’derful pooches and hopefully find them homes of their own!”
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Aston Martin's First Motorcycle Looks Futuristic as Hell
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Aston Martin is a name which inspires images of class, elegance, and luxury. Oh, and of course, James Bond. Now the brand famously featured in so many episodes of the British spy-thriller series, has a motorcycle. And it’s everything futuristic and luxurious you might expect.RELATED:Riding Motorcycles May Make You More Focused and Reduce StressAston Martin has collabed with Brough Superior create its very first motorcycle, the AMB 001. This bike blends the extremely rich finery that the manufacturer has always been known for with a futuristic, nearly anime-inspired aesthetic with the engineering of Brough Superior.It's not just a fancy bike, either. The classic sensibility of Aston Martin is evident from the get-go, according to recently released photos, with the seat — or “saddle” as the manufacturers prefer — being made from hand-stitched Oxford Tan leather. Matching handlebars in a chestnut hue help to offset an unusual color scheme, while a smooth carbon fiber, titanium, and billet aluminum exterior look swanky (and super sci-fi).
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Shia LaBeouf Is Thankful for “Life Changing” Arrest
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From “Transformers” to “Disturbia” to “Surf's Up,” Shia LaBeouf might be as well known for his mark in cinematic history as he is for his memes including the “just do it!” motivational speech from four years ago, and his run-ins with the law. It turns out, he’s actually grateful for his arrest in 2017.RELATED:Kevin Hart Opens Up About Terrifying Car Crash in New VideoDuring his acceptance speech at the Hollywood Film Awards in L.A., Shia publicly thanked the police officer responsible for arresting him two years ago. While grasping the award given to him in appreciation for his “Honey Boy” script, the 33-year-old actor gave thanks to the cop who helped turn his life around.
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A mother excellently described puberty to her teen: An essential read for every parent!
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When it comes to our teenage children, having a conversation with them about what is going on with their bodies and inside their minds is always hard.However, it just may have become a little less difficult.In a recent Quora post, somebody asked for advice on how to make a person understand that the way puberty is making them act is affecting the people around him. A responder named Jo Eberhardt replied to this question and left everyone surprised. She shares that while she has two kids, the puberty phase has not been a walk in the part for her too. Puberty is unavoidable, so helping our children deal with it is key for their proper development.Eberhardt wrote the following: “We need to have a chat,” I said. I’d specifically waited until we were in the car, driving somewhere. That meant that we had half an hour that we’d be in a confined space together with no interruptions and — most importantly — due to the constraints of driving, we wouldn’t be able to look directly at each other, making it easier to avoid accidental confrontation and to encourage vulnerability. “Okay,” my son said. He sounded dubious like he was expecting to get into trouble for something. “We’ve talked a lot about puberty over the last couple of years, haven’t we? I just wanted to check in and find out if you’ve got any new questions.” “No,” he said. But not in as surly a tone as I’d grown used to hearing. “Okay. Well, let me know if you do. But I was thinking about things over the last few days, and I know I’ve been pulling you up a lot more on your tone of voice and the way you’ve been speaking to people. Yeah?” “Yeah…” He was confused now. He didn’t know where this was going. “Well, it occurred to me that I really messed up.” “What do you mean?” “Well,” I said with a deep breath. “I’ve spent all this time talking to you about the way puberty changes your body, and what to expect as you go through the changes, but I completely forgot to talk to you about what’s going on in your brain right now. Puberty is the time when your brain grows and changes more than at any other time in your life — well, except for when you’re a baby, perhaps. So I really let you down by not preparing you for that. I’m so sorry.” My son reached out a hand and gently touched my arm. “I accept your apology, but it’s okay. We can just talk about it now.” “Is that okay?” I asked. He nodded, and then asked, “Why is my brain changing?” “Ah,” I said. “That’s the amazing thing. Did you know that your brain grew and developed so quickly when you were little that by the time you were about five or six, your brain was almost as big and powerful as an adult’s brain?” “No,” he said in wonder. “Well, it’s true. But here’s the thing. Even though your brain was super powerful, the instructions were for a child’s brain. And all the information about building an adult’s brain was a bit… let’s say fuzzy. So your brain did the best it could, but it didn’t really know what kind of person you were going to be back then, or what shape brain you were going to need.” I paused to give him a minute to ask questions, but he waited for me to continue. “Now we come to puberty. See, puberty is amazing. Not only is your body being transformed from a child’s body to an adult’s body, your brain has to be completely rewritten from a child’s brain to an adult’s brain.” “That sounds hard.” “Yeah, it is,” I said. “That’s why I wish I’d warned you first. See, it takes a lot of energy to completely rewrite a brain. That’s one of the reasons you get tired quicker at the moment — and that, of course, manifests in you being crankier and less patient than normal.” I paused again, but he didn’t say anything, so I added, “That must be really frustrating for you.” He looked over at me and wiped his hands over his eyes. “It is. Sometimes I just feel really angry and I don’t know why.” I nodded. “The other thing is that one of the first parts of your brain that gets super-sized to be like an adult is the amygdala. That’s the part that controls your emotions and your survival instincts. You know how we’ve talked about fight/flight/freeze before, and how sometimes our brains think that being asked to speak in public is the same level of threat as being attacked by a saber tooth tiger?” He laughed. “Yes. So you have to tell your brain that there’s no saber tooth tiger to help you calm down.” “That’s right. Well, that’s what the amygdala looks after saber tooth tiger warnings and big emotions. So, the thing with puberty is that all of a sudden you’ve got an adult-sized amygdala hitting all your emotion buttons and your saber-tooth tiger buttons. That must be really hard for you to manage.” He nodded, serious again. “Sometimes I don’t know why I say the things I do. They just come out, and then I feel bad.” “I know, Sweetheart. Well, do you want to know one of the reasons why that might be?”
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Sexting disasters: ‘I sent a nude photo to my boss’
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Sexting – the exchange of explicit messages, pictures or videos (for those not in the know) – is frequently awkward. There’s the anxiety-inducing fraughtness of initiating the whole thing, for one, and that’s before you have even said anything. Whether you are being suitably alluring can also be immense cause for concern, which might explain why many people send sexts and nudes to their friends first for iron-clad pre-approval. What’s sexier than a thorough bureaucratic process, anyway?Spare a thought, then, for poor Emma Bunton. As she revealed on a pilot for Paul O’Grady’s latest TV show this week, she has had bad sexting luck for a whole other reason: a sexy picture meant for her husband was sent to her mother instead. It may seem like the stuff of nightmares, but unfortunately Bunton is far from alone. One thirtysomething woman told me of a work trip gone wrong, after a nude meant for her boyfriend ended up being sent to her boss, who promptly replied with the two most brutally polite words in the English language: “No problem.” Another described accidentally copying and pasting a putative sext into a chat with a colleague after playing with it in draft form; to add insult to injury, this was after it had already been rejected for being “too embarrassing” to send to its intended recipient.
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Your Thanksgiving Meal Might Mess With Your Sex Drive
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The average American consumes over 3,000 calories during a Thanksgiving meal. To put that into context for folks who aren't beholden to counting calories, that's about 500 to 1,000 calories more than what the average individual should be consuming on the daily.As long as you're back to your normal eating routine after inhaling all that Thanksgiving goodness, you're not doing any lasting harm to your body by indulging in that one calorie laden meal per year. However, if you're hoping to have your turkey and get laid too, you're up against a pretty big challenge to overcome.RELATED:How Aphrodisiacs Can Improve Your Sex LifeHere's a look at what a large Thanksgiving meal can do to your libido, along with a few ways to counteract it.
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The Importance of Changing a Tire, According to Nick Offerman
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Nick Offerman, known as the snarky yet loveable Ron Swanson from “Parks and Recreation,” recently sat down for an all-you-can-eat spicy wing session with Hot Ones host Sean Evans.RELATED:Nick Offerman Taps Into Inner Ron Swanson With Lagavulin Single Malt ScotchThe pair dove right into the good stuff — hot wings and hot topics — beginning with the similarities and differences between Offerman and the iconic character he brought to life. The comedian was asked to share how much he related to a few classic Swanson zingers, including one on masculinity and personal responsibility:"Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man and fishing isn't that hard."
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50 years of pickup artists: why is the toxic skill still so in demand?
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In an upmarket bar near Oxford Circus in London, I am watching two men hit on women with all the desperation of a doomed cavalry charge. But without the heroism.Mike and Raj (not their real names) circle the bar, scanning for women, drinks held at an awkward right angle to their chests. When they identify a target, they approach. The women stiffen, their smiles tightening. They swirl drinks with straws and chit-chat politely before mentioning boyfriends – real or imagined. The men retreat, regroup, identify fresh women. Advance, engage, retreat. On and on it goes.I’m standing with the man coordinating this operation, the British pickup artist Johnny Cassell, as he watches as Mike and Raj – his students – run drills. Tonight is the culmination of Cassell’s intensive, day-long “Impactful Connection” workshop. For £700, Cassell promises to help men “master the art of attracting the women you truly want”. But watching as Mike and Raj hit on women indiscriminately, it looks as if any women will do.
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How we met: ‘He is passionate about nature – it made me rethink the way I’d been living’
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As a keen environmentalist, Paul Coleman has travelled the world, walking vast distances to plant trees and raise awareness about climate change. At the end of 2004, he had just finished a walk in Japan when he met Konomi Kikuchi. “I was giving a presentation that was being translated into Japanese for the audience,” he says. “I noticed she was laughing at my jokes before the translation.”Konomi, a writer, says she was inspired by the Briton’s mission to spread the message about the environment. The author of 11 books, she was keen to write about Paul and his life’s work on her blog. Shortly afterwards, Konomi’s editor read her blogpost and asked her to write a book about Paul. To celebrate its publication at the 2005 Expo in Nagoya, he planned to walk round the island of Okinawa. “I was fascinated by his character,” Konomi says. “So I asked if I could go with him on part of his trip.”
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Watch Snob On Why the Zenith El Primero Should Be On Your Radar
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I've recently been fascinated by Zenith, who — while distracted by a few showpieces — produce many incredible designs: the Defy Classic and the Chronomaster especially stand out to me. The brand's history is impressive and their movements seem to offer a lot of value for the money. Do you think much of the brand? I'm seriously considering the Defy as the next addition to my collection.RELATED:Last Week: Watch Snob on the New Lange Steel Sports WatchThe history of Zenith has been quite complicated in recent years — in the early 2000s it was a company which, having just been purchased by LVMH, became an extremely odd attempt at flamboyantly extravagant high-end watchmaking under an equally flamboyantly extravagant CEO who had a penchant for posing at flamboyantly extravagant parties with a falcon on his wrist. The company has always seemed to me ever since to be torn in two separate directions — on the one hand, there are a number of watches that are still exercises in, well, flamboyant extravagance and which moreover suffer from sharing more stylistic features than is good for them, with Hublot (I admire many things about Jean-Claude Biver, without whom the modern horological landscape would look very different, but he did have a tendency in my view to repeat himself a bit when it comes to design).
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My boyfriend never climaxes when we have sex and it’s making me insecure
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for more than three months, but he never climaxes when we have sex. We go at it for hours and I usually orgasm three or more times, but he never does, no matter how much I try. Yet, when he masturbates, he can do it within a minute or two. Sometimes I feel frustrated and insecure about not doing my job. Is there anything I can do?Ask him. All you need to say is: “I’d love you to teach me exactly how to please you.” But he may prefer to orgasm by himself. Some men have a very specific masturbation style that is difficult to emulate, so don’t take it personally. Also, some people find it far easier to give pleasure than to receive it – they would benefit from trying to find a better balance (as would those who mainly prefer to be pleasured). There is also the element of distraction – some people have to work harder than others to avoid having their focus on achieving orgasm being interrupted. But it sounds as though your boyfriend is pleasing you very well; some women would consider him a perfect lover. You cannot control the timing of his climax. Unless you are trying to become pregnant, just let him be.
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How to Stop Debt From Blocking Your Relationship Goals
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Having a significant chunk of debt can feel debilitating, especially if you’re in a relationship. Double the debt? It feels impossible to get out of that! Brian and Lindsay Baldwin (both in their late 30s) had $130K in student loan debt from undergrad and grad school loans. Feeling frustrated with how long it was taking to chip away at their debt, the Baldwins decided they needed to do more if they wanted to take the next step in their lives and start a family.RELATED:The Fastest Way to Pay Off Credit Card DebtThis couple, who met in China while in the Peace Corps, took drastic steps to make their debt-free dream a reality. They moved from Hawaii to Milwaukee, where rent and cost of living were much more reasonable, lived off of $500 per month and tracked every single dollar.
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5 Things ALL Men Should Know About Women
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ALL kinds of men EVERYWHERE struggle to understand, communicate with, and appropriately interact with women. The truth is that nobody is really teaching us how to in the first place.Here are 5 things all men should know about women (backed by science).“Big whoop, captain obvious!” Hear me out…We learn as kids that boys and girls have different parts and all of that vanilla sex education, but what about the fundamental structural differences in the male and female brains?I don’t remember learning that women have a ‘communication center’ that is 2.5 times physically larger than a man’s, giving a higher ability to express emotions.I don’t remember learning that little girls scan faces for micro-expressions in order to read emotions, but little boys don’t.